6 Negative Stories You Tell Yourself And How To Change Them

This video talks about negative emotional programming, what it looks like and does to your thinking. Watch this video for more on negative relationship patterns

Your early life experiences with your parents, siblings and other people in your life leave an imprint on you that carries over into your adult life. No one’s life is perfect because we are all imperfect people and make mistakes. We say the wrong things, don’t do enough of the right things, etc.

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So the imprint that you’re left with is a mixture of positive and negative experiences. If you have enough positive experiences to fill your emotional cup, you can process the negative experiences and compartmentalize them in a way that they don’t dictate every aspect of your adult life. The negative experiences have their place, it’s not like you can’t remember them, but you’re able to shake them off and keep moving.

If the sum total of your experiences were negative or you had some early traumatic experiences that disrupted your normal emotional development, you imprint becomes predominantly negative and affects the way you interact in the present day. So instead of having an emotional cup that’s full most of the time or is easy to refill, you have a hole in the bottom of your cup. You can’t keep it full and often gets depleted.

How does this effect your thoughts and outlook on the world? You develop what’s called maladaptive schema in Dialectical behavior therapy, in this video I refer to is as negative emotional programing. This programming creates distorted stories you tell yourself. These stories keep building and strengthening when your emotional cup gets depleted and you’re working hard to fill it back up.

So here are 6 types of negative stories you can come to believe and let guide your behavior.
Abandonment story

Video Chapters
0:00 Start
0:19 What is Emotional Programming?
2:03 The Abandonment Story
3:24 The Dependence Story
4:30 The Unworthy Story
6:12 The Disconnection Story
7:34 The Mistrust Story
9:18 The Failure Story
11:19 Ways To Break Through The Thinking

Want to know more about mental health and self-improvement? On this channel I discuss topics such as bipolar disorder, major depression, anxiety disorders, attention deficit disorder (ADHD), relationships and personal development/self-improvement. I upload weekly. If you don’t want to miss a video, click here to subscribe.

Disclaimer: All of the information on this channel is for educational purposes and not intended to be specific/personal medical advice from me to you. Watching the videos or getting answers to comments/question, does not establish a doctor-patient relationship. If you have your own doctor, perhaps these videos can help prepare you for your discussion with your doctor.

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50 bình luận trong “6 Negative Stories You Tell Yourself And How To Change Them

  1. I normally don't like accepting advice or really just don't like asking for help but this is one of the only women who actually makes me feel comfortable too

  2. 💯 scared I'm not breaking the cycle with my daughter because I notice her being negative and it throws my mind for a loop because I thought I was doing things differently and correctly ,
    I had a very isolated, average childhood. Moved around a lot I was always quiet and in my own head and I remember never feeling like I belonged on this Earth or had any self identity. My fam didn't talk about feelings or self-worth or importance or anything emotional not even an I love you, I think love was shown through materialistic things, and food. a lot of passive aggressive, joking, but a lot of tension ALOT .so trying to fix something that you hardly know is there seems so much harder than fixing actual abuse trauma like with my physically/ emotionally abusive ex
    It makes me so baffled why is my internal programming so negative so on edge, so flight or fight, paranoid, over worrying, dread, fret, guilt constantly! Abandonment fears, insecurities, disconnect -im comfortable with emotionally unavailable dysregulated toxic people. and have no clue how to have a normal healthy relationship. A part of me feels like I'm missing something from my childhood, or it was just all very subtle 🤦🏼‍♀️😣

  3. i love that she tells us to practice self soothing exercises to help deal with negative emotions and watching her videos is me self soothing lol

  4. How about all the above? And yet every day I try to be better than the day before. I think childhood rape survivor and foster home life has a major role and never having therapy when experiencing these and many more experiences until adulthood

  5. This is much more useful than to go to therapy for me. It is so difficult to find a good professional. I still fight against the system to get the right help with dep.
    Thanks a lot for this useful tool🌷👏🏻

  6. What is the difference between a miserable person and a person with a mental health disorder. Do miserable and unhappy people think about suicide like a person with depression? I am frequently confused. my doctors always think I am bipolar but I can distract myself, snap out of it for a bit, and Medication seems to have no positive effect on me. I think I am just trapped in a life I hate and am a miserable person .

  7. I am so grateful for your videos, Dr Tracy. I have been watching them all day. I found them searching for help for depression not being able to find a therapist and so needing help. Feels good to feel understood.

  8. What if negatives things still happens to you even if you go into social situations without assumptions… or is it normal to have many rejections and you just play this social game end of your life? I admit I reject people soon as I see any sign of rejection. Usually this happens if i am going to end up as a third wheel. First they come late to meetings and then they "forget" to invite you.

  9. I’m in therapy right now trying to change my emotional programming. My parents were perfectionists and always overly critical of my efforts and often I got more criticism after doing what they wanted than not doing it in the first place. They were also pretty toxic in other ways too, both overprotective and neglectful. And I was practically raised on gaslighting and being yelled at.
    As an adult, I find myself incredibly critical of myself and my therapist has been teaching me to see that as my parents’ voice not my own. I have a ton of subconscious thoughts that are very self destructive but I’m having trouble slowing them down to identify them.

    Do you have any videos on slowing down and identifying negative unconscious thoughts?

  10. I am in tears watching this, tears of relief and joy. Everything you are saying here is true the feelings I experience. This is so powerful. Thank you for eternity Dr.Tracy

  11. Words are powerful, and thoughts are not without strength. These affect us in the present, and help to shape our destinies. I recommend anyone watching/listening to this to take it seriously enough to put it into practice. These things could change your life. I know, because learning to speak properly, in a way that strengthened rather weaken me, was something that helped me overcome the diagnosis of Schizophrenia in my life. This was the first step, but it was powerful because I learned to define myself and my destiny with my own vision of what I wanted. As a result, I defied every expectation the doctors had set for me.

    Everything starts within the mind before it reaches the reality we exist in. If you can change your thoughts, your words will change. Change your words, and your actions cannot stay the same. Change your actions and you will create new and more beneficial habits. Changed habits create a new destiny.

    This is very powerful, but too easy to look past…unfortunately, that's just how it is.

  12. Is it possible to help yourself like you would learning a subject alone just researching or is it a necessity to get help from a professional if you feel you have severe antisocial pstterns/problems

  13. Yes. My whole life my feelings have been creating my reality. How do I mute the negative voice on the inside. 🤦‍♀️. I believe Jesus said "speak to it".

  14. WHERE HAVE SHE BEEN MY ENTIRE LIFE 😫😔. here its 2am and I can't turn the videos off. Now I'm understanding what TF is goin on with me.

  15. Oh my god, this video is eye-opening. I’ve been working on healing myself for awhile now but have recently struggled with depersonalization. This is so helpful when it comes to identifying what wounds I’ve resolved and what wounds need more attention. Thank you for this.

  16. I have broken into tears while watching most of these videos. They are so soul touching. I feel like she has gently peeled back the many layers of calloused emotions and applied a salve of compassion and knowledge. I feel so much better after listening to and looking at her. Doc is very easy on the eyes!

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